This whole college thing is literally killing me. I have slept maybe a total of 13 hours this week. It's ridiculous that professors think that this amount of work is okay, let alone healthy, for college students. Its' like they regret to think about the mere fact that college students take more than one class a semester. If any of them are like me, the take at least four or five.
I'm drowning in the ocean of criminal justice technical terms and jargon as well as french verbs, reflexive pronouns, adjectives, and grammatical structures of sentences. Oh, you simply can't forget my oral communication's assignments either. My cover letter and resume for the fake job I am applying for. Can you believe the audacity of this woman? We can make one mistake on either of them and make an A, two mistakes costs you two whole letter grades and degrades you to a C, and anything more than that, you fail. It's insane. Oh, and we have an impromptu speech to give in class that is going to be considered our final exam. HOORAY!
I'm dying. Studying... Stu-dying. Yeah, it's true. I can't even think straight anymore. I don't know how to count or even spell my name at this point. Needless to say, this semester's finals might be the death of me.
On another note, my love life is incredible.
I've met someone absolutely amazing. I can't remember at this instance if I have written about him or not but, his name is David Allen Holcomb and he's fantastic. And I know I've said this about former boyfriends, and I know I have said that as well, but he's truly an amazing man. He's kind, and generous, and self-less, and funny, and smart, and he has ambitions, and goals, and he loves me. Me. Of all people, he chose me. Why? I still don't quite know. But at this point, this very well could be the man I marry.
I talked to Alex not long ago. He said he still loves me. I've had a hard time dealing with this. David is such a marvelous person but of course, Alex will always have some pull on my heart. I'm trying my hardest to ignore it, because I know he's not good for me. For one, our families hate each other, two, he is living in Ohio now, and thirdly, we have so much history there is no possible way we could ever have a healthy relationship at this point. As much as I wanted it in the past, after finding David, I kind of don't. No, I really don't. I have a wonderful relationship with an unbelievable man. I'm not going to mess that up. I haven't even talked to Alex since he revealed that to me. I don't know how to.. but it is hard to just ignore.
I will for now though. I don't plan on losing or leaving David at all, but as everyone know, there is no telling what the future may hold. Who knows what will happen? There are endless possibilities, but I honest to God hope that David is a constant part of my future.
This is life, and I'm gonna live it.
