12:34

I have class at 9:30 in the morning, but I can't sleep.

I've found myself reminiscing on this past school year, and everything I've been through. It's been a lot in such a short amount of time. I can't believe how much has changed in 7 months. I used to think a year was a long time, but recently it seems that time slips away faster and faster. A year really isn't that long any more. I wish I could slow it down. I wish I could stay this young forever because at this moment, I'm the oldest I've ever been and the youngest I'll ever be again. It's interesting isn't it? How the present seems to be dragging on, but if you stop and look back and think about it, it's actually speeding past us..

I wish I could stop time. I can't. But thinking back like this teaches me to cherish every moment I experience. Even though I complain all the time about how my life is going, I should actually be very grateful because one day I'll be wishing I could go back to this moment. I know this because I wish all the time that I could go back to when I had no responsibilities, when all I had to worry about was what I was gonna wear the next day. Now I have to worry about how much money I have, how I'm going to feed my rabbit and myself, how much time I have to do my homework before I have to be at work, the list goes on..

I miss the days I could lay in my bed and not worry about a thing.

My heart is aching in my chest, for what reason, I don't know. But it hurts tonight. It's longing for something. I can't put my finger on what it is but this is a sad ache. It's a sorrowful one. It's a lonely one. It's one of those aches that I wish I could do something about, but I know I can't. My mind is not sad though, my heart is. I don't understand why. It's starting to bother me that I don't know why my heart is aching even though I'm not really sad. I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't even want to see anyone. So how can my heart be aching? Maybe it's just exhaustion, because I am incredibly tired, but I can't sleep. I seem to be a walking, talking contradiction tonight..

This is life, and I'm gonna live it.