I think that's what's wrong with the world.. No one says what they feel, they always hold it inside. They're sad, but they don't cry. They're happy but they don't dance or sing. They're angry but they don't scream because if they do, they feel ashamed. & feeling ashamed is the worst feeling in the world, so everyone walks with their heads down and no one sees how beautiful the sky is.
I am guilty. I'm one of those people that hide what they're feeling and thinking inside myself. I hide behind coy smiles and mysterious eyes and I don't let anyone get close. I run. I'm good at running, and I'm fast. Whenever some one gets to close, I push them away. I close them off from my heart, I build walls and boundaries. I dare them to cross the boundaries, but I know none of them will.
Even some of my best friends don't know what's going on behind my dark brown eyes half the time. They know they can come to me with everything and I will give them my opinion and I won't hold back, but I can't rely on them to help me because I don't let them close enough to help me.
The only person I ever let close enough was Alex, he was my best friend. I told him everything and then he chose to walk away. I promised myself in that instant that I would never let anyone get that close again. That was a mistake on my part. I am wrong to believe that and I'm wrong to continue to close everyone off and push them away. I need to break myself of this habit. I need to force myself to let people get close to me. I need to work on not running. I need to stay put, I need to let people come to me and actually let them in. So maybe one day, my eyes won't be so mysterious, and my smile not so coy, and maybe some day, some one will know me completely again because at this point, Alex doesn't even know me completely anymore.
This is life, and I'm gonna live it.
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