Better?

I feel a little better. But there is still nothing but chaos in my mind. A jumbled heap of questions and comments of advice from my friends. They keep replaying over and over again in my mind and I can't seem to stop it.

How do I make this situation I'm in better? How do I begin to fix myself? Tony says I need to stop talking so much but talking and writing make me feel better. Why are feelings so complicated? So complex?

Why can't it just be, "I like you" and "I like you too" and be over with? Happily ever after? The end? Why do we complicate things with other people and hurt others? Can it not be simple for once?

I'm scared for him to come home. I want all these words that I've written to be completely true, but I won't know until I see his face. Can I handle being around him? or am I just lying to myself?

I need a person that is going to love me and I need to love them in return. Can I not have something as simple as that? or do I ALWAYS have to complicate things for myself?

I'm beginning to hate myself. Hate myself for always doing this. Why can't I ever like someone (that likes me back) that is available? Why can't I love him like he loves me? I always have to go about the complicated rout. How do I stop it?