September 4, 2012

He told the Angel Bitch, her actual name is Emily, but I'm continuing with Angel Bitch. She decided to stay with him and I should have seen this coming, but I got my hopes up when I shouldn't have.

I'm in the need if some inspiration. Something that will keep telling me it's okay, keep moving me forward. Because isn't that the kind of world we live in now anyway? A world where no matter what, you keep moving on? Even if you get the wind knocked out of you and you're on your hands and knees gasping for breath, it expects you to get right back up and keep striving onward. No, you can't take time to catch your breath, you must keep on.

Why can't we slow down for a while? Smell the roses? Enjoy this beautiful world we inhibit? We need to stop. Stop for just one day and look around. We're destroying our planet with our cars and energy sucking houses/buildings. Can't we just live like we did when we had none of this and enjoy the world or must we continue to corrupt this wonderful planet?

Progress. What does that word mean? Corruption? Destruction? or continue? up? better? maybe without that word, this world would be a better place.

But I, myself, must pick myself up again. Maybe after I catch my breath. I'll strive on at my own pace. Continue on at my own speed. Brushy myself off and walk and maybe one day learn to run again after I've been knocked down so many times. Can I get back up this time? Find my breath and place one foot in front of the other again? Learn to be by myself? to be alone? I can't remember. I have to teach myself not to smile when he does, not to swoon with his touch. I must learn to stay solid when he picks up his guitar and starts to sing. I cannot let him phase me. I must ignore the feelings I recieve when he graces us with his presence,

I will learn to not let him affect me. I am STRONG, stronger than anyone knows. I will not be phased by him. I WILL PUSH him from my mind and forget him or actually, forgive myself for falling for him knowing how everything would play out.

I will pick myself off the ground and progress forward. This meaning, I will better myself, help people, become the best I can be, love myself, become great, but humble. Speak less and listen more, be happy always and be unforgettable in all.