September 24, 2012

I think I what I hate most is when people tell me I'm perfect. I am in NO WAY perfect.

Let's think of all the things that are merely physical that aren't perfect about me:

I am WAY too skinny, honestly. I'm not unhealthy, but I'm so skinny I look unhealthy. One of my boobs is significantly bigger than the other. To the point my bra fits one boob funny. My right one to be exact. My ears are crooked. One of my eyes is closed more than the other at all times. I have the weirdest hair line with a TON of cowlicks. I bit my nails, so those are never perfect. My teeth.. they're fucked up. One foot is bigger than the other, so one shoe is always too big. No matter what. My face always has at least one blemish that just looks horrible. I have a lot of muscle, but they're not defined so I just look tiny. I have weird freckles.. all over my body in random places. My eyebrows get really bushy if I don't monitor and control them. MY hair is crazy. It has a mind of its own. I talk too much.

And emotionally, I'm fucked. Just to say a few:
I am spastic in my thought processes. I'm an emotional roller coaster that always leads to an emotional train wreck. I have mild OCD. I think highly of myself, almost to being conceded at times. I'm irrational when I need to be rational and vice versa. I can't make a decision to save my life. I'm fucking hard headed as shit. I lie sometimes. I can be greedy. Honestly, sometimes I think I'm a horrible person.

I'm not saying these things to bring myself down or get sympathy from others. I'm happy with myself truly. I'm saying these things to prove I'm not perfect so don't let me I'm "perfection personified" don't even tell me I'm "perfectly flawed." DO NOT USE PERFECT in any description of me.

I know I'm not perfect, therefore I don't want to be described as such. Not even looked at as such. In general, I am happy with myself, yes. Although, I know I need to make many improvements within myself. I'm working on it. It doesn't just happen overnight.

"All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of splendid failure to do the impossible." - William Faulkner