Challenge

I like to challenge myself in many ways. I go from being raw and deviant to light and observant, vulgar and blunt to eloquent and gentle. It doesn't always work, but I fucking commit to it like no one you know.

I know what it’s like to be so mad, you go into this blind rage and don’t even remember what you said or did. I know what it’s like to be so heartbroken, you can’t even look at yourself in the mirror without bursting into tears. I know what it’s like to have so many bad things happen to you,you start to lose faith in everything. However, I also know times of pure joy and happiness. And if I can just keep my mind set on those, I know I’ll make it through all of the hard times. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to find the faith I thought I had lost forever.

 Sometimes late at night I think about all the things that have been, all the things that haven’t been and all the things yet to be. If my heart could explode into a billion tiny pieces and scatter themselves all over the world. If I could live on sunlight and the city sounds and fall asleep in those thousands of lighted windows. I wonder if this world will ever make sense to me, if I will ever truly understand anything… and if there’s really anything to understand at all.

 We learn to deal with things our own way. A lot of the time people want to help, but when they try to, it just makes the whole thing more upsetting cause then you realize you can't be helped. Maybe you're trapped in this mess, and all you need to do is just take a step away from the situation, and look at it from the outside in, and realize, 'Hey, this is my life - take it or leave it.'